Focus on More Important Things with Your Family This Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving.

Here’s a confession. It isn’t my favorite holiday. And that’s because of the food. I’m thankful to have it, of course. But turkey is health food, not holiday food. Gravy is a mechanism to cover that which would otherwise be devoid of flavor. Mashed potatoes are the unimaginative use of a tuber vegetable that should have ended when the deep fryer was invented. Stuffing is rehydrated couch cushion. Cranberry sauce is the very inspiration of Sesame Street’s “which one of these doesn’t belong.” And on my top 100 pie chart, you would never find the word pumpkin.

But I do love the underlying theme of the day…giving thanks.

And family is at the top of my list. I have an amazing one…big and extended. And I can almost hear one of my amazing cousins asking as she always does, half seriously half to tease, “what are you thankful for?” So here goes.

I will spend the day on a beach in Florida. I will be thankful for the sun on my skin, the sea breeze to keep me from overheating, the feel of my bare feet in direct contact with the earth, the sound of the surf gently lapping against the shore, and my physical ability to walk the beach. There may be an umbrella drink after my walk, for which I will certainly be thankful.

As I gaze out on the Gulf of Mexico, I will be most thankful that I was born healthy in the greatest country on the planet to a loving, upper middle-class family with every opportunity and advantage that one can have. If life were measured by where you stood as a baserunner in baseball, then I was, without a doubt, born on third base. I thank God, too, that I am smart enough to know I didn’t hit a triple. So not only do I have a responsibility to respect those who worked harder than I to reach third, I also have a responsibility to help those who haven’t yet reached here.

This year, like all years, the same unwritten rule will apply around the Thanksgiving table. Don’t talk politics or religion! This year, just maybe, that rule will be even more important.

But why is it that we can’t talk politics? After all, we will be surrounded by people who share some of the same DNA as we do and who have had many of the same life experiences as we have. Yet with all that in common, we still disagree.

Therein lies the lesson. If I can disagree with someone who shares my DNA or life experience, then certainly I will disagree with those who don’t. Perhaps then, I should give the same grace to strangers that I do to my family. The grace to either not talk about it or to do so gently, respecting if not their belief, at least their right to have that belief. Perhaps I should take a moment to contemplate what in their experience may have given them that belief. And if I can’t figure out what in their experience led them to that belief, perhaps I should ask so as to learn instead of pounce as to be right. Perhaps I should also treat that person on the other end of a computer screen as if I had to sit next to him at the dinner table.

I will invariably see something else as I walk the beach Thursday. There will be at least one boat moored along the beach that will have a MAGA flag flapping in the breeze. Political flags on boats are unfortunately a thing, now. Replace the MAGA flag with a “No Kings” flag if you like. Either way, roughly half of passersby will be happy about the flag’s message and roughly half will be disgusted by it. But 100% of passersby will be reminded about real life when all they are trying to do is walk a beach, trying to escape real life for a brief moment.

We need to do a better job remembering that just because we have a right to do a thing doesn’t mean that we should.

We also need to remember that it is precisely because we have the right to do it, that America is great. Not was great, is. And that, I would hope, is something for which we can all agree to be thankful.

Then on Monday, let’s get back to trying to perfect our union, understanding that not all have had as much to be thankful for as we.